Why I Considered Becoming a Nun — and Why I Didn’t

“I understood that every flower created by Him is beautiful, that the brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not lessen the perfume of the violet or the simplicity of the daisy... I understood that if all flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose her springtime beauty, and the fields would no longer be decked out with little wildflowers.” St. Thérèse de Lisieux

This painting of St. Thérèse de Lisieux is in the English College in Valladolid. Photo provided by Lawrence OP via Flickr.

In many ways, the vocation of becoming a nun aligns with my core beliefs and values—a life centered on service, humility, and communion with God. It is one of the few careers I have ever seriously contemplated, as it promises a deep connection to my faith and a purposeful existence. Yet, this path has always existed in tension with another side of me: my romantic, deeply relational nature. I have often found myself wondering if God, in His wisdom, saw that my spirit, though drawn to faith, was also meant for companionship in a different way — a journey best undertaken with a partner, as one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

My journey with faith has been anything but straightforward. Raised in an environment where…